Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
