Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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