I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize