I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
