There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize