Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Randomize