Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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