like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
