let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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