And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize