I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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