I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
