I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
false alarm, still single
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