I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i already hear my dad disowning me
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
