She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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