A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
