Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
