Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
the raccoons are back...
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