I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She bit a glass in half.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
