The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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