I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
