Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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