Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
