You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
