and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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