hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
