Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
