He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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