dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
