Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
