how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
