sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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