Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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