He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Panties = found
Randomize
