Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
