went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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