I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
