So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
