I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
