Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
