perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
