I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
