THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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