Me too!
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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