I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
