I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
