He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
