**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
