This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
