It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
