Only a mothe r could love this liver
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
