she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
