I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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