dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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