thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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