I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
