I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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