What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
